Being Alone

I used to be ultra guilty for taking the time out throughout my day or week all to myself. As a mother, there’s an underlying cultural rule that every mother shall have no breaks --or else the whole world would be judging you, inside out.

As I grew older, and so did my son, my wife and I obligated each other to take date nights at least once a week. These date nights would entail that Ocean, our son, would not be tagging along with us, as he has always been. Ocean is now 14, and unless it’s a required memorandum of him adhering to our request of spending time with us, he’d rather hang around his electronics and friends.

So, knowing what I know now, I’ve realized that you can never even hold time still and stop your babies from becoming men, especially if this was the entire goal from the beginning of time. Meaning, once in a while, you deserve a break. Alone time that you know you well deserve yet too guilty to take. A sanctuary for your own where you can run in routine, and claim as yours. All too well to refill that cup, so you can take care of others even more.

I’ve come to learn and retrain myself over and over again not to feel ashamed of taking a moment to pause, to realign, to reignite, to romance yourself--by yourself.