Listen closely

It's a little bit like holding your friend's hair while she morosely heads for the bottom pit of an unknown public toilet, bearing nothing left but her pasties--while dignity and pride are out the door! 

As for YOU, you are the hair-holder, the supporter of all things unbeknownst to your mission and vision or values. You are here, there and everywhere for your friend, not because you're an idiot, but because you are HERE for them. 

Situations and conflicts will always arise, but if your friend approaches you with the same goddamn problem, you don't blurt out, 'i told you so', each and every single time. More often than not, they already know, and the last thing they need is another lecture, but for you to simple listen. 

Or, just be. 

Just be present. 

The more your opinions fly out in the open, the more we tend to make it about ourselves, and we have to remind ourselves that it is not. 

Support may be questionable if we encourage bad behavior and lie to our friends by saying they made the best decision in their lives, when clearly its not. There's always timing, when a friend is ready to listen to your support. But stay away from giving a lecture in a tone of reprimand. Be fair and reasonable, don't judge and don't dictate or advice. I say this with my own mental practice of not trying to be in my friend's way of deciding what is best for them. Time and time again, I catch myself hearing the same issue--but that's just life, and honestly I probably do it to them too. The key is just to be here for them, and more than likely--that's enough. Your friend probably only wants to have a soundboard, a way to be acknowledged and to have a person to rant with. Unloading emotions could be hard for most, so let them. Be that person where they can unload and release tension, just be a friend.

Let's just sit here then, I will listen. 

It's OK.